A lot of time to think....

 
Well folks here is the post I was talking about earlier.

I had not slept in 24 hrs as I heard the 0600 wake up call come across the radio.  I typed the last line of the award package I was working on and hit send.  I thought to myself it is way too quiet for being right next to the busiest airfield in the world.  I stepped outside and was welcomed by the rising sun.  I could hear a few birds chirping then it went dead silent again that kind of eerie silence like in the movies just before somebody gets stabbed from behind.  The silence did not last long.  I heard the thump thump thump a squadron of CH-47 helicopters coming in low to the ground, as they passed less than 100ft over my head I thought to myself I hope the injured troops they were carrying would hold on long enough to make it to the combat hospital.

  After thinking about the helicopters for a minute longer I decided it was time to make coffee and head to the shower.  With the coffee brewing I walked the 30 or so steps to the shower.  I was in the shower for what felt like 10 minutes but the clock back in my room told me a half hour.  I quickly put on a freshly pressed uniform.  Im not sure what it is about and clean uniform that makes me feel good but it does.  After staring and the picture of my beautiful wife for a minute I grabbed my cup of coffee and walked out in to the courtyard for the second time this morning.  Sitting on the bench I lit a cigarette and thought to myself I should quit.  My mind then wandered back to the picture of my wife on the computer. The silence was back.  Looking across the courtyard I saw the large pile of gear bags from the new firefighters I was huddled in the bunker with hours earlier and wondered if they knew what they were in for.  As I was sitting there 4 or 5 people walked by nodded their heads at me and said "morning Tech sergeant" "how's it going sarge"  "long night huh sarge looks like you need that coffee"  I could not tell you their names my mind was still on my wife and kids. 

  I lit another cigarette but this time I was sitting on the front of the pumper watching the people and cars go by in front of the station.  Then it kind of hit me.  I'm not sure where it came from or why but I realized the firefighters I was about to call to attention for roll call were looking up to me.  They depended on me to make decisions that if made wrong could impact their lives, their families lives. Feeling tiny and cocky at the same time I jumped of the front of the pumper leaving my coffee cup behind.  "STATION TEN HUT!.. At ease for roll call" another day begins how it will end I don’t know.